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One of the hottest topics among young people today is relationships — that is, dating and how to go about it. Everywhere you look, the world, through its propaganda machines—movies, social media, and music—is telling us how to date, what “love” is, and what “the right person” should look like. In today’s culture, dating has become more about trends, feelings, and convenience than about purpose, values, and covenant.
But for Christian youth—citizens of a better world (the kingdom of God), the Bible offers a different perspective and standard—dating God’s way. For us, God’s Word provides a sure foundation for love, marriage, and life. The challenge is that the culture that surrounds us rejects the Bible, dismissing it as “outdated” and irrelevant in guiding relationships in the modern world. So, the question is how can you stay true to God’s Word in your relationships in a world that despises the Bible?
The Timelessness of the Bible
The Bible contains the eternal but timeless wisdom of God. Although written thousands of years ago, still, the wisdom of God embedded in its pages is timeless, cutting across times and generations. The wisdom of God revealed in the Bible addresses every aspect of the human life, including our romantic relationships. God is not aversed to romantic relationships. He himself is love. But he wants us to run our relationships according to his wisdom.
The Bible records God’s activity of establishing marriage in Genesis 2:24. Like the other aspects of human life, God Himself designed how relationships should function. His Word gives wisdom not just for spiritual life but for practical living—including dating. To ignore the Bible in relationships is to ignore the very Author of love, and it is to subject ourselves to unnecessary hurt and suffering.
Biblical Dating vs. Worldly Dating
The biblical way of dating and the worldly way are as different as day and night. God’s rules for dating starkly differ from, and opposed to the way of the world. And, this is the major reason why the people of the world reject the Bible as “old-fashioned”. In fact, there are those who believe that the Bible’s rules and ways are no longer practicable in the modern world, because they believe that things have changed and become more complicated than when the Bible was written. The world treats dating as casual and often self-centered. But biblical dating is intentional, Christ-centered, and future-focused.
Here are some differences:
- The world’s dating focuses on chemistry, outward looks, and instant gratification. But biblical dating emphasises character, spirituality, and long-term covenant (Proverbs 31:30).
- The world’s dating focuses on exploring sexual fantasies and pleasing self. But biblical dating emphasizes pleasing God and glorifying Him with your relationship and bodies (1 Corinthians 6:20; Hebrews 13:4).
- Those of the world often don’t see having multiple partners as a bad thing—in fact, some practise open relationships, even in marriages, which gives either of the spouses liberty to explore sexual relationships with other people. But the biblical way of dating prioritises and pursues faithfulness to one partner (1 Timothy 3:2, 12; Titus 1:6).
- Those of the world treat relationships as a social trend—what everybody is doing and what you should do to show that you are sociable. But the Bible teaches romantic relationships as purpose driven—what God provides for you to help you fulfill your purpose (Genesis 2:18).
- Worldly ways of dating say, “Follow your heart.” But the Bible’s way of dating says, “Guard your heart. Follow the will of God for your life” (Proverbs 4:23).
Dating the Biblical Way
Here are some practical tips for dating the Bible way:
Choose From Among Believers
A godly relationship is not just one in which God is mentioned all the time or a marriage that is done inside a church; it is a relationship of two individuals who both belong to God and who have a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ. This is the number one step. Paul, speaking by the Lord’s authority on the remarrying of a believing widow, says that she is free to remarry whoever she wishes, but she must marry “only in the Lord” (I Corinthians 7:39).
As a believer, you should only marry from your constituency—those you share the same faith in Christ with, believe the same doctrines with, and submit to the same government of the Holy Spirit and the Word with. This is crucial! A marriage relationship is a union of two people who are in agreement (Amos 3:3)—whose worldviews on issues are shaped by the same faith.
Be purposeful.
Dating is not a hobby—something that is done for fun. It is the step before marriage. Dating is preparation for marriage. Therefore, you should do it with intentionality. Enter a relationship with clarity: Am I pursuing this person with the intention of marriage? Am I honouring Christ in the process?
If you are not old enough for marriage, don’t enter into a relationship. A dating relationship is not a means to satisfy your sexual appetite. That is the way of the world. But God calls it fornication. And no fornicator has a part in the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9).
Pursue Purity
The Babylonian culture around us has normalized premarital sex. A Nigerian Afrobeats singer recently stirred up social media when he posted on his X handle, “Fornication is not a sin.” Though believers responded to him, he has only projected the mindset of this sex-soaked culture. But, as Christians, we are called to holiness. The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5:
3. God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honour—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. [NLT]
Hebrews 13:4, speaking more specifically on marriage, says:
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Purity is not to restrict you; it is to protect you—protect your heart, your body, and your future home. It may make you look old-fashioned to those of the world, but you will be so pleasing to God. Purity glorifies God (1 Corinthians 6:20). And it makes you honorable to your partner.
Be Accountable
In biblical times, relationships were not done in secrecy. And we of today must live by that ancient wisdom. Don’t date in isolation. Do not allow your intending partner to isolate you. It is dangerous. Submit your relationship to older and more experienced people in your life—parents, pastors, and godly mentors—for guidance and oversight. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Accountability keeps you on track and helps you make wise decisions.
Grow Together
A godly relationship should strengthen your fellowship with Christ, not weaken it. If dating pulls you away from holiness, Bible study, prayer, church, or service, it’s a red flag. If you are struggling to maintain your walk of faith while dating, then you will find it harder when you are married
The Benefits of Dating God’s Way
The world will make it look like you are missing out on a lot because of your choice to date God’s way. But it is a lie! It is just a trick to get you to join their bandwagon. Because your life is condemning them. Beloved friend, you are not missing out on anything. Rather, your choice will bring you many benefits. Here are a few:
- It protects your heart from unnecessary wounds.
- It builds relationships on trust and respect, not lust and convenience.
- It clothes you with honor and dignity in your partner’s eyes.
- It aligns your relationship with God’s purpose for marriage.
- It stands the test of time because God’s Word never fails.
Conclusion
In a world that dismisses the Bible, Christians must live as proof that God’s word is still relevant. Dating the biblical way may seem countercultural, but it is the path that leads to joy, stability, and a Christ-centered marriage.
If you’re dating—or preparing to—choose God’s way over the world’s way. His Word is not old-fashioned; it is eternal, powerful, and relevant for every season of life.
I call you blessed!
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