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One of the least understood aspects of Christian parenting is the parents’ shepherd role. You might not have thought about it before, but parenting is actually a ministry.
The Bible does not explicitly call parenting a ministry, neither does it explicitly call parents ministers. But as we carefully study the Bible’s description of the nature and responsibilities of parenting, we will find striking similarities with the ministry of a pastor.
In the Bible, God’s people are often described as sheep, and those entrusted with their care as shepherds. King David, in Psalm 100:3, used this metaphor to describe the people of Israel.
“Know that the Lord, He is God; it is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people and the sheep of His pasture.”
Interestingly, when Jesus—God incarnate—came to the earth, He used the same metaphor to describe God’s people through faith in Him. In John 10:11, Jesus declared:
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.”
Christ called those who follow Him sheep. And, He called Himself a shepherd—the good Shepherd.
The apostles also used the same metaphor of shepherd to describe those who are entrusted to oversee the people of God. Peter the apostle says:
“Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly, nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock, and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away.” (1 Peter 5:2-4)
Parents As Shepherds
The rich, biblical imagery of shepherding captures the essence of both pastoral ministry and parenting. While pastoral ministry involves shepherding God’s flock in the church, parenting involves shepherding the hearts and lives of children entrusted to us at home.
Both roles are built upon entrustment. As believers are entrusted to pastors for nurturing, so are children entrusted to parents for nurturing. Also, both roles are deeply spiritual, demanding sacrifice, love, patience, and faithful guidance.
The parallels between the pastoral ministry and parenting are not coincidental. God designed the family as a preparation ground for leadership in the church. This is why Paul set one of the qualifications of a church overseer as the home (1 Timothy 3:2, 4-5).
Thus, the home is the training ground for those who will lead the church. Where the family is functioning as designed, parents are the first set of shepherds that a believer ought to have. The home is the first place to encounter the truths of God.
This article explores seven striking similarities between parenting and pastoral ministry, drawing lessons from the Bible to help Christian parents embrace their shepherd role with fresh insight.
This will help you as a Christian parent to grasp the weight of what you have been called to do. Your job is not a casual one. It is important. And, it is necessary. What a pastor is to the flock in his care is what you are to the children in your care.
Recommended: Raising Godly Children: 7 Essential Trainings to Shape Your Kids’ Faith
The Parents’ Shepherd Role
We are going to consider seven striking similarities between parenting and the pastoral ministry.
1. Both Involve Nurturing and Feeding
A shepherd provides nourishment for his flock. Without this, the sheep cannot thrive. David captured this so well in Psalm 23, where he used his own shepherding experience to describe God’s shepherding care for His people. He says in verses 1-2:
“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.”
Likewise, the parent’s shepherd role involves providing feeding for children. Children do not go around looking for what to eat by themselves, unless the home is dysfunctional. Or, unless they are living outside of the established order of family.
More importantly, we are to feed the children spiritually—with God’s Word. Paul praised Timothy’s upbringing, saying:
“And that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” (2 Timothy 3:15)
Historically, Timothy’s father was a pagan. But his grandmother and mother ensured that they fed Timothy with God’s truth. This is a very vital aspect of the job of Christian parenting. We must feed our children with God’s revelation. What God seeks from our homes is not just children, but children who know Him.
This is also the heart of the pastoral ministry. Pastors are charged with feeding God’s flock with the truth of God from the Scripture. The risen Christ, in His final charges to His apostles, spoke to Peter, in John 21:15, “Feed My lambs.”
Jesus went on to repeat this instruction two more times, suggesting how serious the matter is to Him. Afterwards, Peter gave the same instructions to the overseers of the churches, saying:
“Feed the flock of God which is among you…” [KJV]
Thus, parents and pastors alike are feeders. They provide the necessary sustenance—whether milk for growth or strong meat for maturity (Hebrews 5:12-14). A malnourished child is just as vulnerable as a malnourished church.
2. Both Provide Guidance and Direction
Sheep have little sense of direction. Left alone, they wander off into danger. Thus, again David said of God’s shepherding roles in the lives of believers:
“He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” (Psalm 23:3)
God provides His people with direction and guidance, because He does not want us to wander off into danger (Psalm 32:8-9).
In the same way, the parent’s shepherd role includes providing guidance and direction. We are navigators, helping children to discern between right and wrong, leading them toward paths of righteousness. Paul counselled parents:
“Fathers, do not do things that make your children angry. Instead, teach them carefully as they grow up. Help them to understand the message of the Lord, and help them to obey it.” [Ephesians 6:4, Easy English Bible]
As parents, we possess more knowledge and experience than the children, because of our longer years of relating with the word of God and diverse life experiences. Thus, we are in a good position to offer guidance to them. Though, they will sometimes act as though they know better, we must not make the mistake of yielding to them.
The pastoral ministry has this same responsibility. Pastors provide spiritual guidance to believers in the church, helping them walk faithfully with Christ.
Both believing parents and pastors point their flock toward Christ—the Great Shepherd.
3. Both Use Discipline and Correction
Shepherds do not only protect their flock, but they also discipline and correct them. This aspect of the shepherd’s role was also captured in David’s description of God’s care for His people.
“…Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)
Every shepherd is armed with both rod and staff. The rod is for the defence of the flock against wild animals. The staff is to discipline, correct, and guide the flock to the right path. I have seen herders hit their herds with sticks. The purpose is not to save, not destroy. The blow is hard enough to drive sense into the animals, but not hard enough to kill or maim them.
Likewise, the parent’s shepherd’s role include disciplining and correcting children. This is not a cultural thing—it is a biblical thing. Discipline and correction are necessary factors in the raising of godly children.
Scripture prescribes discipline and correction in the raising of children. And, believing parents must not allow modern culture to intimidate us into removing them from our tools kit. Because, ultimately, we are accountable to God, not to culture.
Proverbs 13:24:
“He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.”
Discipline is an indication of love. Refraining from discipline, especially for a reason like pity, indicates hatred. And, though it is not pleasant, discipline produces peaceable fruits of righteousness (Hebrews 12:11).
Likewise, the pastoral ministry involves discipline and correction too. Pastors are called to rebuke sin and correct error within the church (1 Timothy 5:20; Titus 1: 13; Titus 2:15).
Thus, in both parenting and pastoral ministry, correction is an expression of love, not harshness. It keeps the flock—whether children or believers—from straying into destruction.
4. Both Demand Sacrificial Care
True shepherding is costly. It costs time, energy, even pain. The Chief Shepherd—God—Himself demonstrated the sacrificial nature of shepherding when He laid down His own life to redeem His sheep (John 10:17-18).
The parent’s shepherd’s role goes with sacrifice—sacrificing personal comfort and ambitions for the children’s sake. A man in my church had to settle for a cut in level and pay just so he could be transferred back to where his family is, because the children had turned bad due to his absence from home.
Parents go through sleepless nights, financial hardship, and personal inconveniences for their children. Many parents are gladly spending and being spent for their children’s sake.
Similarly, the pastoral ministry also involves sacrifice. Faithful pastors pour out their lives to see the flocks entrusted to them grow and turn out well in their relationship with the Lord.
Both parents and pastors mirror Christ’s sacrificial love, often unseen by the world but precious in God’s sight.
5. Both Require Patience and Perseverance
The results of shepherding are rarely immediate. They are usually slow, requiring patience and perseverance. An impatient person cannot be a shepherd. Shepherding requires carefully tending and nurturing over a long period of time. It takes time for the sheep to mature.
Likewise, the parent’s shepherd role requires patience and perseverance. Children grow in stages, and parents must endure many things. Maturity takes time. Thus, we must have a long patience. Otherwise, we will give up over the children before they can ever become whom God intends them to be.
The father in Jesus’s parable of the prodigal son is a classic biblical example of parental patience and endurance. Despite the younger son’s rebellion, he still forgave and took him back. It takes long patience to forgive again and again. Christian parents must cultivate patience, through the working of the Spirit within our born-again spirit (Galatians 5:22-24).
Then, like parenting, the pastoral ministry requires pastors to patiently walk with believers through their immaturity and stumbles. Paul exhorted Timothy to do ministry “with all longsuffering” (2 Timothy 4:2).
Parenting and pastoring both demand steady faithfulness, trusting God to bring fruit in due season (Galatians 6:9).
6. Both Requires Leading by Example
Shepherds go before their flock. That is a perfect image of leading by example. A shepherd first goes where he wants the flock to go. Christ—our Chief Shepherd—demonstrated this in a very profound way, by washing the feet of the disciples, and calls that an example for them to follow (John 13:15).
The parent’s shepherd role requires being an example. Children are shaped more by example than by instruction. Raising godly children starts with modelling a godly life to them.
A Christian parent cannot be hypocritical. Our words must match our lifestyles. When children see inconsistencies between their parents’ lifestyle and teaching, it discourages them, and makes them to also develop an inconsistent lifestyle.
This same is true of the pastoral ministry. Scripture consistently instructs pastors to be models of the life of Christ to those that they lead (1 Timothy 4:12; 1 Peter 5:2-3). Modelling is more effective than merely talking. A pastor, like they say, must walk the talk, not just talk the talk.
One of the boldest and most impactful statements that a parent can make to their child or that a pastor can make to their flock, is what Paul said to the Corinthians:
“Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).
7. Both Are Rooted in Love
At the very heart of shepherding is love. No one modelled this better than God. At the very centre of God’s redemptive purpose is love. His suffering and death were grounded in His love (Romans 5:8).
The parent’s shepherd role requires love. Love must flow from us to our children. Love must be the atmosphere of every Christian home. This creates trust, security, and obedience in the children. Paul describes parental tenderness in 1 Thessalonians 2:7:
“But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children.”
Likewise, the pastoral ministry requires love. The framework within which ministry happens is love. Galatians 5:13 charges believers to serve one another in love. Without love, ministry is empty.
Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13:1–3 that all preaching, knowledge, and sacrifice are meaningless without love. A pastor must shepherd God’s people, not out of duty alone, but from love for God and His people.
Love is the binding force that makes shepherding effective. Parents and pastors reflect the heart of Christ when they lead in love.
Final Words
Parenting and pastoral ministry share these striking similarities because both are expressions of shepherding. Parents shepherd the family, while pastors shepherd the church.
Both roles involve feeding and nurturing, guiding and directing, disciplining and correcting, sacrificing, modelling, persevering, and loving. Ultimately, both point to Christ—the Good Shepherd, who laid down His life for His sheep.
Parents and pastors are under-shepherds, entrusted with souls to care for and are accountable to God for their stewardship.
Therefore, every Christian parent must embrace their task with the same seriousness as pastors do their calling. Parenting is as serious as pastoring. In fact, I believe that if parents do their ministry well, pastors will find their works easier, as they will have a ready army of well-raised believers trained from home.
Dear parents, your work is more important than you think. Your role is not just raising children, but shepherding future disciples of Christ. Commit to nurturing, guiding, correcting, and loving them in the ways of the Lord.
And, if you are in pastoral ministry, let your shepherding be marked by Christlike sacrifice and love, and let the example you set in your home overflow into your church family.
Above all, let us keep our eyes on the Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ, for in Him we find strength, wisdom, and the perfect model of shepherding.
